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Happy New Year, but take care where you go bare!

Danger. Take care where you go bare!

danger. weird nudist laws


Oh dear, the old head’s still hurting a bit as a result of accidentally quaffing large amounts of alcohol during a fairly riotous New Year’s Eve celebration in Gloucestershire.

Not that it was my fault of course; I blame my hosts. I mean, put a weak and naive young lady such as myself, who has led a hitherto sheltered and blameless life, in front of a bar which stretched into the next county, and what can you expect?

Therefore they must shoulder the entire blame for the incident later that night when I received a caution from the local bobby for riding my host’s bicycle round the village green at three AM dressed only in boots, knickers (with snazzy Christmas tree motif) and a Santa Claus hat.

My recollection of that night is a little hazy, but I remember that the officer was perfectly charming, although my hosts suffered agonies the next day expecting a knock on the door from the local police force.

Serve ’em right for leading me to the demon drink I say.

Not that they weren’t right to be worried mind you. According to British law, I- who committed the deed – would not have been prosecuted unless a member of the public had complained, but they – who had done nothing – could be prosecuted on the spot for keeping a “disorderly house”

Which is a bit strange if you ask me, but then the law is an ass sometimes, especially in connection with nudity. Just take a look at these examples, which I’ve reproduced courtesy of Scott Roeben, at http://www.dribbleglass.com. (Incidentally, this is a fascinating site for whiling away a few hours. Check it out.)

For instance, did you know that…

  • Female breasts,” according to the Arizona Supreme Court, don’t constitute “private parts” under state law.
  • In China, women are prohibited from walking around a hotel room in the nude. A woman may be naked only while in the bathroom.
  • In Oxford, Ohio, it’s illegal for a woman to strip off her clothing while standing in front of a man’s picture.
  • Women can sell items and be topless in Liverpool, England-but only in tropical fish stores.
  • Bozeman, Montana, has a law that bans all sexual activity between members of the opposite sex in the front yard of a home after sundown-if they’re nude.
  • In Norfolk, Virginia, a woman can’t go out without wearing a corset. (There was a civil-service job-for men only-called a corset inspector.)
  • However, in Merryville, Missouri, women are prohibited from wearing corsets because “the privilege of admiring the curvaceous, unencumbered body of a young woman should not be denied to the normal, red-blooded American male.”
  • Another law in Helena, Montana, mandates that a woman can’t dance on a table in a saloon or bar unless she has on at least three pounds, two ounces of clothing.
  • Women aren’t allowed to wear patent-leather shoes in Cleveland, Ohio, as a man might see the reflection of something he ought not!
  • In Hastings, Nebraska, the owner of every hotel is required to provide each guest with a clean and pressed nightshirt. No male and female-even if they are married-may sleep together in the nude.
  • Censorship laws in Brazil are strict. Photos of women attired in bikinis or short-shorts are banned. And no more than one bare female breast may legally be shown on any given page of a newspaper, magazine, book, or other publication.
  • Don’t try to fool around while skinny-dipping anywhere near Georgetown, Guyana. Getting caught while bathing in the nude is punishable with a coat of fresh paint! The bathers are then taken to the outskirts of Georgetown and left to fend for themselves.
  • Cautin Province in Chile has an edict banning the hanging on the walls of Playboy centerfolds and other sexy pinups in any home or public building. The reason ? “It’s more worthwhile to admire a good landscape than a photograph of a naked woman.”
  • In Syria, a man is forbidden to “look at the body of a woman who is not his wife under any circumstances. It is also forbidden for a woman to look at the body of a man who is not her husband. It is forbidden to look at the genitals of others, even in the mirror or in a pool’s reflection.”
  • Egypt has legislation that prohibits a woman from belly dancing unless her navel is covered with gauze. Technically, then, according to this law, a female in Egypt may dance in public while wearing absolutely nothing more than a piece of gauze on her belly button.
  • The law in Doha, Qatar, requires that if a naked Muslim woman is surprised by a man while bathing or dressing, she must first cover her face, not her body.
  • Bikini car washes (where women wash cars topless) are prohibited in most US states, but the fine is only $50 per incident, so car washes charge an extra $50 to recoup their legal costs.
  • Florida prohibits topless walking or running within a 150 foot zone between the beach and the street.
  • In Winnipeg, it is against the law to go naked in your own home if you leave the blinds up.
  • In Carrizozo New Mexico, females are strictly forbidden to appear unshaven in public – including legs and face.
  • And last but not least, in Thailand it is illegal to leave your house without wearing underwear…

By the way. I personally have not checked the validity or otherwise of any of these laws, so I accept no responsibility if they’re incorrect or out of date.

What I mean is, for instance, if you own a tropical fish shop in Liverpool and decide to serve your customers topless on the basis of what you’ve just read, that’s up to you.
But if you get arrested don’t go blaming me- I’m in enough trouble down in Gloucestershire.

Have a great nudist new year!

A Nudist New Year Greeting.

nudist happy new year pic